When Strength isn't Enough

A few months ago I was at my hanging out with my friends, having a little "Girl's Night In". We were all talking and gossiping, and of course relationships got into our conversation. I mentioned that it would be hard dating someone from another race whose family won't accept someone different. The other women immediately shot me down, claiming that you just have to be strong enough to get through it. As if it were some simple feat. Well, since I have a bad case of l'espirit d'escalier, I couldn't come up with the words for a good rebuttal. But I have them now.

In a way, they are correct, you do need a lot of strength. Going into a relationship where you don't have the approval of his loved ones can be daunting, whether it's because you're of another race, another religion, your past, etc. Instead of receiving a warm welcome, you're deemed unworthy of the title of his girlfriend. Anybody who can go through that unscathed has my respect.

But strength is not all that one should consider. Unless you're just dating for pleasure, chances are you're dating for marriage. And when you marry somebody, their family becomes yours and vice-versa. I don't know about anyone else, but I'd hate to feel like an outcast in my new family. And what of your spouse? He'd have to choose between his family and you. If you loved him, could you really have him make that difficult choice?

My greatest fear about this situation is the children. One would hope that his family would set their differences aside for them. But in too many instances, that is not the case. Adults play favorites with children all the time, and kids pick up on that. I don't know if I can put a child through that.

Keep in mind that I don't have a problem with women who are in these types of relationships. If you're able to do it, then kudos. I just don't think I have the willpower to handle all the situations that come with it. But I'm still young. Perhaps there is a chance that I'd change my mind.

'Til Next Time!

What going to keep me warm, that right, those degrees ...

You know what I hate? Going to two classes every weekday that are each an hour and forty minutes long. ARGH! I wish I had a vacation like some other people my age. But for me, it's either school or work during the summer time.

I graduate next May, and let's just say that it'll be a while before I go back to school. I want to get my Master's, of course, but I want to get a job first so that when I apply, schools will see that I already have work experience. I am not the type of person to just stay in school after getting a degree. No. I will put it to use. If I were trying to go to medical school or something, it'd be a different story. But I'm getting a Bachelor's in finance and I'm pretty confident I can find something after getting my degree (God willing).

I guess I'm just scared that I'd end up one of those professional students. You know the type. They've been in school for 10+ years but haven't had a job since the summer of their sophomore year in high school. Are they going to medical school or getting a JD? Nope. Their working on their PhD in Creative Writing. They still depend on their parents for everything that the loans won't cover. And they have no clue what they're going to due after they graduate. They just decided to stay in school "until the job market clears up". Oh gosh. When will people understand that the number of degrees =/= success? At some point you've got to be out there taking care of yourself. It's not a good look to be thirty-something years old and still depending on other people to get by (I'm not talking about unforseen circumstances)!

I personally can't wait to be more independant. I wish these other "adults" would have the same mentality.

Weighty Issues

Hey nerds!

So... a good friend of mine is getting married soon! Like next year soon. So exciting. It seems like just yesterday that we were just naive teenagers whose only worries were where we were going to have lunch that day. And now we're becoming actual adults. Time flew by so fast...

But anyways, she asked me to be a bridesmaid! I am very honored. Me, a bridesmaid, with their pretty hair, make-up, dresses... ah yes, the dress. That's what I'm worried about. Not what the dress will look like (my friend has good taste) but how I will look in it. I don't want to have to wear spanx under my dress. And I don't want my rolls to show, either. Which is why I'm going on a diet.

It's not anything specific, mind you, just cutting back on the greasy foods I tend to eat; I don't do crash diets. Seriously, the way I eat I should be at least 200 pounds. So I figure I might be one of those chicks who's "naturally skinny" if I eat a little better. And I have seen progress with my past attempts, it's just that I never stick with it. But this wedding might just be the kick in the ass I need to get myself in gear.

I hope to get down to 150. Oh sure, that may seem like a lot to some of you, but I'm about 5'10, and according to the BMI charts it's acceptable. I have no plans to go any lower. Oh, how fun it will be to go shopping with my newer figure and not have to suck in my stomach all the damn time (seriously, it's annoying).

I hope I don't come across as someone with low self-esteem. My boyfriend thinks I have that issue, which is not the case at all. I personally love my shape. I just want to look the best that I can with the body God gave me. If I did want to look like those chicks in magazines or on the runway, I'd probably say that my goal is about 120 pounds (which I think is standard for them). Not to mention diabetes and heart disease runs in my family, so it's probably best I deal with this now before I have to deal with hypertension at 30. Wish me luck!

5 Things Romance Mangas Taught Me about Relationships

I read a lot of manga. Mostly romance, since most of it is lighter reading and usually has a brighter mood. I have noticed that there are certain patterns in romance manga when dealing with relationships. So I've put together this handy list of what these comics taught me about love.

1. Act dumb.

Smart, mature girls never get the guys. You have to be completely clueless when it comes to relationships, and I mean clueless. Oh, and also ditsy. It's not annoying, it gives you character and makes you look cute. Also, you've got to be really, really bad at hiding your emotions. Well, duh! How else would he know that you like him, silly! You can't confess your love to him, because girls that usually do get rejected. Not to mention it'd make you assertive, and nobody likes an assertive woman; it's just too unladylike. So, go ahead and act ditsy. Real men love stupid women.

2. It's not abuse, it's his way of showing you he loves you.

If a guy you're in a relationship with calls you "ugly" "stupid" or "idiot", it's just his way of showing you the real him. I mean, it's a whole side of himself he masks from the rest of the world, and he chose you to show that to. Sometimes it's because of his dark past. He's seen some stuff, man. Other times he's just being a douche. In any case, you need to be the one person he could take out his anger on. So the next time you're late for a date and he slaps you for worrying about him, be grateful you stupid cunt.

3. It ain't rape if you don't fight back hard enough.

Ah, yes. Here is the part where we focus on rape, or as it's known in most romance manga, making love. The guy will usually tell you outright that you and him will soon have sex without giving you a chance to express your opinions on the matter. Or he could just go for it, right then and there. You'll probably say "no" or "stop" but your face will clearly show that you're getting pleasure out of this whole ordeal which apparently translates to yes, so that makes it okay. When it's over you'll find that you enjoyed the whole thing and will be thinking about it constantly the next day. And your love for the guy will grow stronger. Oh, and if you were raped--I mean, made love to by a guy that isn't your boyfriend, of course said boyfriend going to blame you for refusing to keep your legs closed, whore. YAY FEMINISM!

4. String that other guy along until you can make up your mind.

There is usually another guy. And this guy simply adores you. He wants to have a stable relationship with you filled with respect, kindness and love, and doesn't mind waiting until you say so to "take it to the next level." So obviously, this guy is all kinds of wrong. But don't let him know that. Instead, string him along through a meaningless relationship trying to convince yourself that you love him. But as stated in part one, you'll be bad at hiding your feelings, so he'll know that you don't care for him too much. He won't give up though, because that's how much he cares about you. Jeez, what a pussy.

5. You can only love one person in your life. EVER.

And you'll usually find him in high school, or junior high if you're lucky. Or maybe you'll get really lucky and find him at five, meet him again in your preteen years and fall in love. Because it's perfectly normal to fall in love in Kindergarten and keep those feelings without being labeled creepy or a stalker. But if you don't have it like that, you'd better get on it. You're fourteen years old, you're not getting any younger. Better be careful or you'll wind up going to college as a spinster.

And that's pretty much it. There are mangas like Kaichou wa Maid Sama and Moe Kara which feature a strong female protagonist and a protagonist that goes through more than one loving relationship respectively, however. Just wanted to throw that out there. 'Til Next Time!

Takes me back ...

So I recently saw the movie Star Trek. And I must say, I like. I watched Star Trek: The Next Generation from time to time and recently got into the original series from the sixties, so I don't think it's fair to call myself a Trekkie. That term is reserved for a priviledged few.

Oh, it was a wonderful movie. The action, the drama, the romance... okay, so they had me at romance. Seriously, the whole movie could have sucked and the romance would've made it all up. I'll admit, I'm a sucker for love.

But anyways.

Watching this movie reminded me of another Sci-fi series involving a large ship and its crew. No, it's not Andromeda or Babylon 5. It's...

Yes, that's right, Space Cases!

Okay, so I'm pretty sure most nineties kids with basic cable is pretty familiar with Snick. It was a block of shows that aired on Saturday night on Nickelodeon which included such titles as the Secret World of Alek Mack, Allen Strange, and All That. But Space Cases was by far my favorite.

It was about a group of students and two administrators who got stuck on an alien space ship while trying to explore it. The ship went into overdrive, stranding them in outer space. Just like Star Trek, it had a diverse crew with members coming from different planets: Harlan Band from Earth, Catalina from Titan (and her "imaginary" friend Suzee), Radu from Andromeda, Bova from Uranus, and Rosie from Mercury.

Oh, how I looked forward to this show every week! Sadly, it didn't end long, as it was cancelled within a year. I guess the whole space exploration thing just didn't resonate with most kids. But let's reminisce together, shall we?

Why Don't You Just Adopt?

Those are the words I usually see whenever topics of infertility treatments come up, whether it's on a message board or in a blog. The woman seeking the treatment is usually seen as some sort of selfish bitch who would rather throw away money on getting genetic offspring than adopting a child who needs a loving home. What's the difference; a child is a child, right? She has no right to be upset! She should just suck it up and accept her role in life as a barren woman who opens her home to all kinds of children in need!

Sorry, but I strongly disagree.

I will never understand why infertility is the one ailment that is seen as selfish to treat. Can a woman fix her uterus in peace? Why is she seen as "evil" and "denying an orphan a home" because of her desire to get pregnant? This may come as a shock to some, but get this: some women don't want to adopt. Ever. It is a process that I believe not everyone is meant for. For some adoption will always be "second-best" because it was their fall back plan if they couldn't conceive. Adoption should not be seen as a back up. It should be something you really want to do. It takes a certain person to adopt, and I don't think anyone should be guilted into doing it. Remember the case of the woman who gave up her child two weeks after adopting him?

I've heard stories of people who gave birth after adopting. Most treated their children equally, as they should. But some did not. They treated adoption as their back-up plan, remember? So now the biological child is the one that is fawned over, their "miracle baby", while the adopted child feels left by the wayside.

If you're all for adoption, then you do it. But don't guilt others into doing so. Don't adopt a child if your heart isn't in the right place.

Welcome...

Hi. Welcome to my blog. I read blogs daily so I figured it only makes sense. Here I plan to do what all (well, most) bloggers do: write about my feelings, beliefs, and interest. Hopefully I'll get enough readers to engage in conversations.

I plan to spruce things up a bit. In the mean time, follow me on www.twitter.com/amateur_nerd