5 Things Romance Mangas Taught Me about Relationships

I read a lot of manga. Mostly romance, since most of it is lighter reading and usually has a brighter mood. I have noticed that there are certain patterns in romance manga when dealing with relationships. So I've put together this handy list of what these comics taught me about love.

1. Act dumb.

Smart, mature girls never get the guys. You have to be completely clueless when it comes to relationships, and I mean clueless. Oh, and also ditsy. It's not annoying, it gives you character and makes you look cute. Also, you've got to be really, really bad at hiding your emotions. Well, duh! How else would he know that you like him, silly! You can't confess your love to him, because girls that usually do get rejected. Not to mention it'd make you assertive, and nobody likes an assertive woman; it's just too unladylike. So, go ahead and act ditsy. Real men love stupid women.

2. It's not abuse, it's his way of showing you he loves you.

If a guy you're in a relationship with calls you "ugly" "stupid" or "idiot", it's just his way of showing you the real him. I mean, it's a whole side of himself he masks from the rest of the world, and he chose you to show that to. Sometimes it's because of his dark past. He's seen some stuff, man. Other times he's just being a douche. In any case, you need to be the one person he could take out his anger on. So the next time you're late for a date and he slaps you for worrying about him, be grateful you stupid cunt.

3. It ain't rape if you don't fight back hard enough.

Ah, yes. Here is the part where we focus on rape, or as it's known in most romance manga, making love. The guy will usually tell you outright that you and him will soon have sex without giving you a chance to express your opinions on the matter. Or he could just go for it, right then and there. You'll probably say "no" or "stop" but your face will clearly show that you're getting pleasure out of this whole ordeal which apparently translates to yes, so that makes it okay. When it's over you'll find that you enjoyed the whole thing and will be thinking about it constantly the next day. And your love for the guy will grow stronger. Oh, and if you were raped--I mean, made love to by a guy that isn't your boyfriend, of course said boyfriend going to blame you for refusing to keep your legs closed, whore. YAY FEMINISM!

4. String that other guy along until you can make up your mind.

There is usually another guy. And this guy simply adores you. He wants to have a stable relationship with you filled with respect, kindness and love, and doesn't mind waiting until you say so to "take it to the next level." So obviously, this guy is all kinds of wrong. But don't let him know that. Instead, string him along through a meaningless relationship trying to convince yourself that you love him. But as stated in part one, you'll be bad at hiding your feelings, so he'll know that you don't care for him too much. He won't give up though, because that's how much he cares about you. Jeez, what a pussy.

5. You can only love one person in your life. EVER.

And you'll usually find him in high school, or junior high if you're lucky. Or maybe you'll get really lucky and find him at five, meet him again in your preteen years and fall in love. Because it's perfectly normal to fall in love in Kindergarten and keep those feelings without being labeled creepy or a stalker. But if you don't have it like that, you'd better get on it. You're fourteen years old, you're not getting any younger. Better be careful or you'll wind up going to college as a spinster.

And that's pretty much it. There are mangas like Kaichou wa Maid Sama and Moe Kara which feature a strong female protagonist and a protagonist that goes through more than one loving relationship respectively, however. Just wanted to throw that out there. 'Til Next Time!