Why Don't You Just Adopt?

Those are the words I usually see whenever topics of infertility treatments come up, whether it's on a message board or in a blog. The woman seeking the treatment is usually seen as some sort of selfish bitch who would rather throw away money on getting genetic offspring than adopting a child who needs a loving home. What's the difference; a child is a child, right? She has no right to be upset! She should just suck it up and accept her role in life as a barren woman who opens her home to all kinds of children in need!

Sorry, but I strongly disagree.

I will never understand why infertility is the one ailment that is seen as selfish to treat. Can a woman fix her uterus in peace? Why is she seen as "evil" and "denying an orphan a home" because of her desire to get pregnant? This may come as a shock to some, but get this: some women don't want to adopt. Ever. It is a process that I believe not everyone is meant for. For some adoption will always be "second-best" because it was their fall back plan if they couldn't conceive. Adoption should not be seen as a back up. It should be something you really want to do. It takes a certain person to adopt, and I don't think anyone should be guilted into doing it. Remember the case of the woman who gave up her child two weeks after adopting him?

I've heard stories of people who gave birth after adopting. Most treated their children equally, as they should. But some did not. They treated adoption as their back-up plan, remember? So now the biological child is the one that is fawned over, their "miracle baby", while the adopted child feels left by the wayside.

If you're all for adoption, then you do it. But don't guilt others into doing so. Don't adopt a child if your heart isn't in the right place.