When Strength isn't Enough

A few months ago I was at my hanging out with my friends, having a little "Girl's Night In". We were all talking and gossiping, and of course relationships got into our conversation. I mentioned that it would be hard dating someone from another race whose family won't accept someone different. The other women immediately shot me down, claiming that you just have to be strong enough to get through it. As if it were some simple feat. Well, since I have a bad case of l'espirit d'escalier, I couldn't come up with the words for a good rebuttal. But I have them now.

In a way, they are correct, you do need a lot of strength. Going into a relationship where you don't have the approval of his loved ones can be daunting, whether it's because you're of another race, another religion, your past, etc. Instead of receiving a warm welcome, you're deemed unworthy of the title of his girlfriend. Anybody who can go through that unscathed has my respect.

But strength is not all that one should consider. Unless you're just dating for pleasure, chances are you're dating for marriage. And when you marry somebody, their family becomes yours and vice-versa. I don't know about anyone else, but I'd hate to feel like an outcast in my new family. And what of your spouse? He'd have to choose between his family and you. If you loved him, could you really have him make that difficult choice?

My greatest fear about this situation is the children. One would hope that his family would set their differences aside for them. But in too many instances, that is not the case. Adults play favorites with children all the time, and kids pick up on that. I don't know if I can put a child through that.

Keep in mind that I don't have a problem with women who are in these types of relationships. If you're able to do it, then kudos. I just don't think I have the willpower to handle all the situations that come with it. But I'm still young. Perhaps there is a chance that I'd change my mind.

'Til Next Time!