"If you color your hair, you're not natural."
"Real naturals don't flat iron. If you want straight hair you clearly want to give in to creamy crack!"
"Well if you ask me, naturals shouldn't wear any fake hair. I mean, what's wrong with your God-given texture? You're clearly trying to hide it if you wear a weave."
"Naturals who wear twist-outs often clearly don't love their texture! They're just trying to make their hair seem like it's a 3b!"
"Having locs isn't really natural. You don't have to care for it. Locs are the new relaxers."
As stupid as some of this may sound, this has resulted in a lot of heated debates/flame wars in many a natural hair care forum. But none are quite as grating as this one:
"Naturals who try to make their curls pop are sellouts."
Now let's get one thing out of the way: I'm aware that certain hair patterns have a lot more privileges than others. It's much easier for a person with curly hair to do the big chop; people will look at her hair in awe, wanting to touch it, wondering why she ever got a perm in the first place, saying "well, I'd go natural, but my hair can't do all that!" Those with kinkier hair often tell a different story. Especially if it's short. Women wonder why you cut off all your "pretty" hair, family members ask when you will get your hair done. Well meaning friends and associates pull you to the side and tell you that your new hairstyle "just doesn't look good. Why don't you go back to relaxers? You can't pull off the natural look. You don't have good hair." People will try to say that going natural is pretty much the same experience despite hair type but it simply isn't true. Hierarchies exist in almost all facets of humanity, and hair is no exemption.
Because of such hierarchies, some people have concluded that those who want to bring out their natural curl pattern are just trying to fit in and achieve "good hair" status. I do not doubt that some women do this; I imagine many 4a/4b naturals sit in frustration in front of their bathroom mirrors, slathering on Miss Jessie's hoping that it could turn their kinks into curls, as the tag line suggests. However, I don't think it's fair to group those women with people who can achieve curliness without much fuss. But that is exactly what some militant naturals do: anyone who wants to have curly hair is deemed a self-hater.
Isn't it enough that we're natural? That we no longer have to give in to relaxers? Now we can't style our hair certain ways? Smoothing your hair with Eco Styler gel is hardly the same thing as permanently straightening your hair with chemicals. One is not any less natural for focusing a bit more on what her curl pattern can or cannot do.
All the rules and regulations of the online natural community can be a bit daunting. The best thing to do is go to those forums and blogs for hair advice, and that's it. If you get to involved with the politics, it can make your natural hair journey a lot less fun.
