Hair Curls and Politics

When you first become natural, and join the online natural hair community, you will be inundated with a lot of rules of what it does or does not mean to be a "true natural".

"If you color your hair, you're not natural."

"Real naturals don't flat iron. If you want straight hair you clearly want to give in to creamy crack!"

"Well if you ask me, naturals shouldn't wear any fake hair. I mean, what's wrong with your God-given texture? You're clearly trying to hide it if you wear a weave."

"Naturals who wear twist-outs often clearly don't love their texture! They're just trying to make their hair seem like it's a 3b!"

"Having locs isn't really natural. You don't have to care for it. Locs are the new relaxers."

As stupid as some of this may sound, this has resulted in a lot of heated debates/flame wars in many a natural hair care forum. But none are quite as grating as this one:

"Naturals who try to make their curls pop are sellouts."

Now let's get one thing out of the way: I'm aware that certain hair patterns have a lot more privileges than others. It's much easier for a person with curly hair to do the big chop; people will look at her hair in awe, wanting to touch it, wondering why she ever got a perm in the first place, saying "well, I'd go natural, but my hair can't do all that!" Those with kinkier hair often tell a different story. Especially if it's short. Women wonder why you cut off all your "pretty" hair, family members ask when you will get your hair done. Well meaning friends and associates pull you to the side and tell you that your new hairstyle "just doesn't look good. Why don't you go back to relaxers? You can't pull off the natural look. You don't have good hair." People will try to say that going natural is pretty much the same experience despite hair type but it simply isn't true. Hierarchies exist in almost all facets of humanity, and hair is no exemption.

Because of such hierarchies, some people have concluded that those who want to bring out their natural curl pattern are just trying to fit in and achieve "good hair" status. I do not doubt that some women do this; I imagine many 4a/4b naturals sit in frustration in front of their bathroom mirrors, slathering on Miss Jessie's hoping that it could turn their kinks into curls, as the tag line suggests. However, I don't think it's fair to group those women with people who can achieve curliness without much fuss. But that is exactly what some militant naturals do: anyone who wants to have curly hair is deemed a self-hater.

Isn't it enough that we're natural? That we no longer have to give in to relaxers? Now we can't style our hair certain ways? Smoothing your hair with Eco Styler gel is hardly the same thing as permanently straightening your hair with chemicals. One is not any less natural for focusing a bit more on what her curl pattern can or cannot do.

All the rules and regulations of the online natural community can be a bit daunting. The best thing to do is go to those forums and blogs for hair advice, and that's it. If you get to involved with the politics, it can make your natural hair journey a lot less fun.

Thick Girls and Conventions

So. As I mentioned in the last post, I'm going to AWA this year. I'm pretty excited about it! The last convention I went to was also my first; it was at MoMo Con at GA Tech. I didn't wear a costume, just cat ears. But this time, since I have a bit more money and it's a bigger convention, I figured that I'd wear a costume. I figured it should be easy to pick a costume. Turns out, it's not as easy as I thought.

I won't lie; my body is not where I want it to be. I am trying to lose weight but it's hard. Really hard. I quit drinking soda about a month ago (well, anything that isn't water) and though my boyfriend says my face is getting smaller, I certainly don't see it in the rest of my body. If I had to choose a body twin, it'd have to be Crystal Renn minus the current weight loss.

Needless to say, I would feel more comfortable in something a bit more conservative, but I still want to look cute. Oh who am I kidding, I want to look hot. But that's kind of hard to do when most hot anime female characters wear stuff like this:

This is Carmen 99. She's from GunXSword, an anime I'm currently watching. At first, I wanted to dress like her, but I had to be honest with myself. I can barely, if at all, pull this off. I'd rather not end up on forums in topics on cosplay gone wrong (this seems to happen every year with Felicia). So I need to find another one.

In any event, isn't it a little ridiculous to make fun of bigger girls dressing up in skimpy costumes at conventions? They're only working with what they have! They shouldn't be stuck with the standard jeans and t-shirt just so that they don't "offend" people. They just want to dress up like anyone else. It's not their fault that a lot of female characters wear skimpy clothing.

And if I may be honest, they're pretty much damned if you do, damned if you don't. They could go there in a Princess Fiona costume and folks would still be clowning. The worse part is, is that this only seems to be applied to women. There are plenty of fat men at these cons, but nobody cares about how their body looks in a costume. But women are supposed to be sexy all the time to cater to the male gaze. *sigh* Stupid patriarchy.

Well, that was my rant. Hopefully I'll find a costume in time. If not, it'll be okay. I'll be sure to post plenty of pictures, so look out for those.

Miss J Wig and other wig news

Welp, I'm back with another video. I got a Miss J wig from misswigs.com. It was so cute the first two days. But today... it was kind of puffy. I managed to tame it with some synthetic hair spray I bought from Sally's (African Pride brand) but I can already tell it's not going to last long.

With that being said, I'm already thinking about my next purchase. I want a straight unit this time, since they're easier to care for and last a lot longer. I'm debating between these two:

Bree

Angela

I'm leaning toward Bree since it has a bang. But I just can't get over how pretty Angela is! I love the layers.

In any case, I'm buying one of these next week. They're both lovely, and I need something on my head until I get my big chop or weave. Hopefully I'll get it in time for AWA. More on that later.

Bought some new lipstick

Hey, who wants to hear me ramble on about makeup? Oh come on, at least pretend you do.

Okay, so I bought this lipstick a couple of weeks ago. I'm still undecided about it, since it's a different color than what I'm used to. The quality is still pretty nice, though.

But enough reading. Enjoy my bored and monotone voice!

Why hello there...

It's been a minute, hasn't it? Well, a lot has changed since my last update.

First, I graduated! Yes, I am no longer a college student, THANK GOD. I would like to get an advanced degree someday, but not now. I need a break from school. It's refreshing not having to worry about homework, tests, and other things of that nature.

Also, I got a job! In an office! Okay, so when I first graduated I had to work at office supply store (ugh) but since my boss decided to act dumb I left a couple of days before my last day. I don't think I have ever met a grown man quite as petty. But luckily, I got a temp job at a bottling company actually doing office-type work. I feel so much more like a grownup now.

Oh, and I'm way more into makeup now. One of my good friends is heavily into it so she got me hooked. Wow, that sounded like I was talking about drugs. Anywho, I'm buying a lot more department store brands, MAC in particular. Their eye shadows are bomb.

Oh, and I'm starting to make YouTube videos now. Well, so far I only have one so far (I had two, but I deleted them both and re-uploaded one after I messed around with it a bit. I'm redoing the other one tomorrow) but I'm planning on making more. I don't expect Michelle Phan levels of infamy but it doesn't hurt to try.

I also got the cutest pink/fuchsia lip stick from Ulta, so expect another video soon. Also, expect some more posts about some thoughts I've been having lately. Because this is a blog. It's what it's here for.

Toodle loo!

Thoughts on Father's Day

Well, today is Father's Day. Obviously my Facebook and twitter timelines are filled with well wishes to all the dads out there who are active in their children's lives.

I'm Back

Hey all. It's been a while, hasn't it? I really need to update this more. Well, a lot of stuff has been happening since the last post. First off... I graduated! I walked in May. I have one more summer class to finish (unfortunately) and after that, I get my Bachelor's degree. How exciting! I've also discovered a new series of anime; I'll post about that, later. And I'm posting from my brand new laptop courtesy of the best boyfriend in the world. Love you baby!

So that's all that's been going in in A Nerd's world. I promise to update more often.